Bittersweet sunshine

30.  bitter tears of brokenness and the knowing that I CAN'T DO THIS LIFE WITHOUT YOU.
31.  white-grey clouds wisping across the pale blue sky
32.  the protective scolding of an older brother to his smeary-faced little sister
33.  a song following me through the day... reminding me of my hope
34.  sitting half-cricket on a kitchen chair
35.  the delicious smell of mown grass on a warm fall afternoon
36.  the rest that sickness requires
37.  golden glow of a sunset beginning
38.  a table set and a candle flicker
39.  rest for tired legs
40.  remnants of the sunrise
41.  woodsmoke
42.  not-so-little brother telling me to "SLOOOOOOWWW DOWWWWWNNN!"
43.  kneading, patting, smoothing plump bread dough

Grace in stormclouds

19. unexpected letter in the mail
20. words of Scripture, from a friend, speaking to my soul
21. a comfy thick sweatshirt on a chill evening
22. the sound of rain on trees and grass
23. drying hands on jeans
24. holding the cool, smooth hand of a second mother, giving thanks
25. rainbows-- the reminders of God's kept promises
26. dark, swollen stormclouds against a golden afternoon sky
27. hail and heavy rain in the midst of sunshine
28. breathing warmth into a scarf tucked close about my neck and chin
29. irate co-workers-- disguised opportunities for learning to give grace

God's gifts...

1.  once-black hair, pulled back from her face like a girl's
2.  dusty doggy paws, leaving smears on jeans
3.  warm rolls, barely crusty outside
4.  the outline of veins in cat's ears, revealed by sun
5.  scrubby grass and wildflowers, greens and purples and beiges mingled
6.  misting rain on my face
7.  a hug from one familiar, but hardly known
8.  a man's voice reading the Savior's words with gentle strength
9.  exchanged looks of bewildered amusement
10. wind and sun blowing through leafy trees
11. bare feet slapping on cool wood and linoleum floors
12. old, homely, cozy sweater-- once my mama's, now shared between me and my sister
13. hilarious dog escapades enjoyed with family
14. a cooing little voice
15. cobalt and amethyst flowers winding their vines and curls up a support wire
16. vibrant orange garden anemones
17.  a day that hasn't decided which it is, summer or fall?
18. saying "anemone" over and over and becoming utterly confused about spelling and pronunciation

Maki Life

I discovered sushi about a year ago.  Apprehension had always kept me from it at the Chinese buffets and on restaurant menus-- fear of those names I couldn’t pronounce and didn’t understand, the ingredients I could never quite recognize or identify. Somehow, though, I was persuaded to try it one day at a friend’s birthday celebration… and I fell in love. The fusion of textures and flavors was irresistible, and the fact that maki was best eaten in one giant mouthful amused me to no end. 

It's hard to separate the different ingredients of the maki; and if you try, it never turns out quite right. 

Today I read this:

Shout with joy to the LORD, all the earth! Worship the LORD with gladness. Come before him, singing with joy. Acknowledge that the LORD is God! He made us, and we are his. We are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation.  (Psalm 100:1-5, NLT)

Joy and thanks and knowing who God is and knowing who we are-- they're all wrapped up together, inseparable. It’s like maki: you can’t have one without the others. Not truly, anyway.  Each component by itself is good, no doubt; but none are so whole or beautiful alone as rolled into this one magnificent melange.

Maki life... this is the life I long for.